What happened to my Lollipops and Mr. Teddy Bear?

Mr. Teddy Bear's not gone, but I hid him in the bottom of my closet without sunlight and of the light of my affection for him. I hate him. I don't talk to him anymore. Because I learned at school that inanimate things do not talk, I thought he was just mute. No. He had this unopened smile, and I stitched it because I was angry of him for not answering me back. So technically I muted him because he was playing mute. I guess he deserved it. And yeah I stole my mom’s needle from her box.

I don’t eat lollipops anymore. My dentist yesterday told me they’re bad for my teeth. He said tiny monsters are going to dig up caves, called cavities, in my teeth because they want to share with my lollipop. I am scared of monsters! Under-the-bed-monsters, much more tiny ones! Ekkk!

Brownie is my remaining playmate. We cuddle together. But he’s not icky because he’s toilet-trained. Yes. He’s an intelligent dog. He’s really playful he even fetches me things! Like when I say; Go Brownie go! Fetch me my sneakers, we’ll be jogging outside! And then he runs out of my room he never ever left me finish talking! He’s a bright doggie, because he knows what I am going to say. Mom calls it “dog’s intuition”. I don’t know what intuition means. I asked my teacher at school what it means (because my mom said it’s hard to explain it to ‘kids’) but teacher said it’s a thing to learn next year. Grownups sometimes don’t share things to people. I don’t know why. Buzzkill.

It’s almost my birthday. It’s the 3^rd of May that’s next month. I asked that from mum yester night before going to bed. She read me stories before going to bed and leaves after I doze off (because I am scared of under-the-bed-monsters). My favorite is The Little Prince. I don’t get tired listening to it. I don’t know why. I guess people have their own set of favorites like Mr. Teddy Bear; I used to play house with him but not anymore. He’s no longer in my favorites list and he’s not invited to my birthday party. But I’m giving him my fruity lollipops because I don’t eat them anymore. Some of my lollipops have gums inside them. They’re really delicious.

Its 6 days before my 15^th birthday and I am so excited! I am going to sleep early tonight because I’m writing invites in the morning. I’m inviting my second bestfriend Ron, Teach, my Bestfriend Brownie (I’ll let him taste my favorite Ube ice cream) and Mum. I’m thinking about inviting some of my classmates. Well, most of them are mean to me. I’ll think about them in the morning. Okei. Let me count sheeps now. Bye.

Soundless Boating in the Nighttime

Into the dull, and starless, and clouded night,

I surrender, yet not with all my might.

To drift, I lay, there is no light,

From here to yonder,

To the open sea.

Through the never –placid river

In a boat, in a boat with a single unused paddle,

Hush…I’m almost through the addled,

Yet silent, clandestine breakwater.

Reborn

(Spirited Away, Haaku distracting the spirits)

It’s been a while since I last posted in this becoming dusty blog spot of mine. I was away. Well I had Tumblr fever which kept me from posting in here. I particularly liked the thought that you can post shorts on it, a quote, a link, or a photo with pre-customized platforms and then call it a blog. Because firstly, I believe, blogs are supposed to be long. Right? People write long blogs – the reason which kept me from posting in here. But now I am back. What I am supposed to write? Anything. Yes. Blogs should be about anything that crosses your mind…

I was away for six days for the Holy Week. Yes. I am a practical Roman Catholic. I brought two novels and some notes with me because I thought it was a good idea. I end up watching a lot of movies. Here is the list in the order of happiness and satisfaction:

Spirited Away (2001) – This movie is directed by Hayao Miyazaki and I particularly liked this movie. I cannot describe the odd feeling of watching it and of after seeing the movie. This odd feeling is the same way I felt for Prince Caspian, his other movie Howl’s Moving Castle, and the Harry Potter movies. There is common among them though, those movies involve magic. I like fantasy movies a lot and most especially when spoken with an English accent, or something similar. There is a peculiar ambience invoked when movies are spoken with an English tongue: classy, influential; which makes you listen to it more, imposing if not noble. You should also see Miyazaki’s other movie Howl’s Moving Castle and then you will agree with me that there is a vivid similarity between HMC and Spirited Away; the characters, the musical score, and the plot itself.

Prince Caspian (2008) – As I have said, I like fantasy movies especially with a English tongue. There are a lot of Mediterranean casts on the film and I believe it is to achieve a “barbaric” flavour of the film. Ben Barnes, William Moseley and Skandar Keynes are eyecandies. Eyecandy Skandar has an interesting ancestry and if you do a search in Wikipedia, you will be amazed as I am. hehe

Up (2009)

Lakehouse

Cherí

Coraline

Where the Wild Things Are

Well, those weren’t much is it? But this is relativity. You don’t get to watch a lot of movies if you are in my shoes: Slowpoke internet and a tiring major which is Accountancy.

I’m downloading four and I have to wait for a century: Young Victoria, The Last Station, American History X, and Dorian Gray.

Everything Happens for a Reason

In the early times, any resolved questions belong to the arms of science and the remaining perplexing ones to magic…

Everything inexplicable or undesirable end up being backed up by the notion that everything happens for a reason. Humans as we are, we all like to succumb to that. That everything has already been laid up on us, and that everything that has happened, is happening, or about to happen is written by the same hand. Yours. Mine. His. That we are nothing but threads in the tapestry of Life. You and I and everyone form part of the greater picture of the universe woven by Fate herself.

Some people subscribe to a similar idea, that their fate is chosen by God Himself and that they can no longer alter what is designed. That winning the lottery is God’s way of giving random blessings. And losing your right limb is a prompt expiation of your sins, whether menial or not, which leave you thinking some other ones commit deadly sins but how could they enjoy life? Life is unfair. Is God unfair for not making you a star of His divine plan? Is Fate to blame for lacing you at the hem of this tapestry of life?

I guess it’s a psychological selection- buckling under the belief that everything happens for a reason. When good things happen to me, sometimes I like to thing that it happened for a cause, for a greater purpose, and it brings me peace. When bad things happen, I just have to think that greater things will come along sooner, and then it brings me peace. Thinking that way is helpful in a cosmic sense but for some people it is just so hurtful. For people who have been victims of abuse, they struggle for the justification of what has happened to them. And then it becomes a psychological issue unless by their own willpower they learn to channel them to things, or through emotions.

I guess if it is more fruitful for you to believe that things don’t happen for a reason because we can make things happen by our own reasons then so be it. For it is also sensible to think that good things happen to bad and good people alike. Likewise, bad things happen to good and bad people. God gave us free willpower and it is a matter of self-control to make choices. Sometimes if something fouls up I would like to think that some divine powers are at play to remove myself from the blame. Ha! This is the beauty of being human- we can rationalize about the way things are the way we want it.

Manny Villar is a Swimmer

I can almost taste the sweet nothings of the electoral candidates; see their lousy ads on TV and hear them talk on fora at my university. They talk flamboyantly that they tire after an hour of saliva drain and they walk with a high five at forehead level with a plastered smile (whoa! they giving themselves a facial yoga). Their to-do-list includes impressing as many gullible (haha!) voters-slash-students and bringing them into their rocking boats. At least, that’s what they think, or is it just that that is what I think they are thinking? Get it? Never mind.

Little argumentations are music to my ears. Talk about global warming and politics, though not contentious. It pleases me when at last teenagers (the likes of me), no, young adults, get up from being four pedals and act as they should be, being rational. But talk about magic dusts and fire-breathing gap dragons, it delights me more. What? If these candidates are with blue-blooded veined arms holding swords from their scabbards up on their high horses then I would be in delusion. I would be an instant campaigner and swear at the round table that he who cometh before me first shall earn my ballot. What? Shut up! You get me confused. Welcome to the world of Philippine politics.

There political propaganda are reflective of our society- it walks on four. Although there are contemporary sages of our time, a handful of them can not compensate for the whole. And since, ever since those times of old, plebeians constitute the bulk of the society, these candidates need to beseech the vox populi and they are willing to play a Russian roulette. After all, we’re taking about big monies. You need lettuce man!

We can be likened to that of Argentina, we had and have powerful presidents, had high GDPs. Even the Philippines was believed to be the Asian powerhouse after the World War II, considering also its strong ties with the U.S. But what happened? Truly a hand for the wrong statesman can send the whole economy into the void.

So what are we suppose to do now?

We shall strive to make a better society. How? By choosing the lesser of evils, those are the candidates. Yes, they are indeed suffering from my prejudice, but neither am I an articulate novice writer to convince you of my opinion. And? Well, I really don’t know. But do we really have to care about these people in the every day of our lives? Clearly not. I guess, then, we are better off if we shall continue earning our bread and butter. Be emotionally stable and show care and consideration for people. Maybe that. Maybe that, through time, our inner ramblings about how to better the society will die out. It will come natural and easy.

Hmm.

“If pro is the opposite of con then what is the opposite of congress?”

Kidding aside, I do believe that the better the society the lesser laws there are. So possibly in heaven there aren’t any laws, or if there are, then at bare minimum, in Hell, may be there are specific guidelines to be followed down to the smallest of things, if followed.

Shounn here, kickrocks!

Random Thoughts of Solitude

*Random Thoughts of Solitude*
-shounn-

As I sat down on the cold marble floor,
with my legs in lotus,
I felt the breeze, when I shut my eyes.
Silently it is crawling to me, as if not to make me astir.
Then it gently touched my hair coaxing me to get up,
to dance as did the draperies graciously in tune.

I wish to sit by the gutter of a fountain,
in a silent midyear autumn,
where swishing of the leaves,
they are swirling golden brown,
It is all that you can hear.
In a far away deserted English town,
loitering through its pavement,
not a shadow of me is my loyal companion
for it’s a cloudy day, a fair day.

In the green meadows,
Dancing with the wind are cheerful sunflowers,
They are like suns, bright yellows.
They are meddling towers,
where, beneath their flimsy bodice, I lay.
High above are clouds like white swans,
barely moving in tranquil pond,
heads rested on their fluffy feathery wings,
like sweet angels sleeping.

To the west the sun is setting.
Gazing above the sky through the thinning
blue borders, I lay, still, with outward arms, quiescent.
Darkness engulfs you not completely
for tiny flickering stars, every corner of your eyes they illumine.
Shounn ,they told me, the world, is filled with glory.
Everywhere there gleans lots of acorn.
The world, therefore, not dipped in forlorn.

The Say of a homo Homo sapiens sapiens

I believe that whoever thinks homosexuality is wrong because the Bible says so, have not read much of the Bible, and if so, have not understood it completely. Either that or they just have to ride on to those mainstream beliefs which became norms, consensually evolving under the guidance of our so-called Christendom, such a cognitive bias.

We are constantly bombarded with religious second-hand information, especially about homosexuality, mainly evangelical in nature, that they are unerring for they are indeed truths (though literal) of the Bible, and that we are drawn to believe on them due to the very fact that they are set up by the higher authorities. Our thoughts, opinions, are generally put off in the end. This is one of the flaws of Christianity I daresay.

Leviticus 20:13 says, "If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their heads."

The above quotation clearly calls out the immorality that is homosexuality. But what is fascinating is that how Christians are so aroused about the first sentence and not on the second one. The statement is explicit. There is no room for logical fallacies here. Must. Death. Blood. Does this mean to say that our God is bloodthirsty? Clearly not. Whoever wrote Leviticus, who is under the inspiration of God Himself, should not be understood literally. Jesus Himself spoke in parables. I believe that even if given those biblical passages hold practically true in the olden times, the pertinence of the Old Testament is theologically disputable because it can be asserted that on those times, any acts against procreation is proscribed. And since humanity accepts some Levitical prohibitions no longer, such as those having “blemishes”, which may be a mutilated face, a crushed testicle, being hunchbacked or being blind, as disqualifications for the priesthood, and menstruating woman as unclean, must we condemn the similar biblical injunction against homosexuality? Under the light of my preconceptions by all means I say YES.

So I ask you from the bottom of your heart that if God really loves each and every one of us, that He sent His only Begotten Son to save us, could He afford the sight of any of His children under the wrath of eternal flames just because by his very nature he is bound to love a man? That is by itself dogmatic.

I refuse to believe that homosexuality is a sin. The above is my ground. Under this very disputable issue I shall not betray myself. Being not what I am not makes me unhappy and I choose to be happy. Because people have every right to be happy.

Shounn here, kickrocks!

The Excitation of Mr. Gore

"The Excitation of Mr. Gore"
-shounn-


On the balls of my feet
I round, I tip, tip toe
To the sound of the beat
Oh, it’s tic tac toe.

Aye, now the door is locked
Still I tip my toes.
Shoot, is it se’en o’clock?
Ho! I’ve t’run from my show.

And with my both left feet
Now I skid, skid, skid.
I turn ‘round the corner of the street
With some three, spreed kids.

And then I slowed down a bit
I start’d to prance, prance, prance.
Then some fat Persian kitt'ns
Started to dance, dance, dance.

Then my soles start’d to sore
By the big oak door,
“Should I dance no more?”
That I asked Mr. Gore.

Now the party is to begin,
Though I’m still here out!
“Let me in! Let me in!”
The butler shouted, “Out, you stout!”


Whoa! I’m in no footgear!
Oh my dear! Oh my dear!
And I’m in loose, loose trousers!
Am I astir? Then I leered.


No fear, Mr. Gore, no fear!
The road is near, clear, clear.

The Year that was Yesterday and the Year that is Tomorrow

(random thoughts of a random guy)

Today is not just the start of a new year but a new decade. And what accomplishments we have achieved and behaviours and attitudes we have shown will forever stereotype the last generation.

The earlier part of the ‘millennium generation’’ is when I attended high school. And like a sunrise, it was a fresh beginning. I was a town’s boy and I met new friends, which is by the way my present clique today. My high school was the best. I remember I was so lanky back then and they used to tease me about my shoes, which was contoured by the toes and looked antiquated.

The later part of last decade was mostly university. New faces, new friends, new personalities, but the old ones are still there, they are the best. Presently, I’m still at school, I’ll be graduating this March. And board exam by May? Me gosh.

Of course, it wasn’t just my schooling which happened for the last ten years. There were a lot. The fall of the WTC twin towers and was it Osama bin Laden?, PGMA who is serving for almost ten years now and her anomalies, the death of Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, the mortgage meltdown, my grandpa’s death, he was an alcoholic and a smoker, but despite that I cannot deny his innate loving nature, et cetera (forgive my dysfunctional memory).

***

A lot can happen in a decade, in a generation. New kids will be born (I have a lot of new cousins and my old classmates’ raging hormones blessed them with babies); you possibly will move out, to the capital maybe, or to Brazil (which will be my case); start your own family; earn your cash or grow your own business; or die – this you can’t avoid, seriously.

For the last ten years we have lived in an era of facebooking and sending joke quotes, that computers and cellphones are now promoted as tools in facilitating our hierarchy of needs. People document memorable events of the day, write poems or songs and post suicide notes through online journals that is blogging. Blogging has become, for the past ten years, the plateau of dot com, the epitome of modern literature. And this is what I am doing. I hope I don’t get lazy posting this in my dusty old blog.

***

So what I am up to for this decade? I have a long list of to-dos in my head.

1. Pass the CPA Board Exam, if not top it.
2. What’s more than a tour around Brazil and the Rio 2016 Olympics?
3. I don’t want to die a virgin
4. A boyfriend who’s more of a companion, preferably who looked Eurasian or yellowish oriental, (Yes, I’m picky, get over it. And yes I’m gay; do you want to hear about it? That requires a new post).
5. A condominium overlooking a view.
6. To be flexible like a gymnast.
7. Get serious with meditation but not to the point of levitation, please, well, not yet.
8. Can I grow 4 inches more?
9. Gain weight and maintain it.
10. Uhm, what else?


Thanks for reading 'til here. Shounn here, kickrocks!